Not a Barn Find...

Mr Lucky

toboggan oiler
Joined
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None of your fucking business...
So I went to have a look at a car that was very cheap. It was a few hours drive away. My brother came with me to drive my car back and the kids came with me, well, because kids...

This car had been vandalised. The story goes that the owner saw a neighbour husband and wife fighting and basically husband neighbour was knocking seven bells out of neighbour wife, in the street (stay classy Oldham). He called the cops and told them not to come to his house for a statement. They came, sorted it all out, went to his house for a statement. Guy sees cops there and smashes the windows out of this chap's car a few nights later. His insurance will only pay for one window so he flogged it to me, cheap as chips. I initially didn't want it, because as well as the windows it had a power steering fluid leak, pulled to the left and had a vibration on tickover.

I came home after wasting everyone's time. My daughter was gutted because she really liked the car "But Daddy, you can fix it!" (she's 10, what the hell does she know!?).

I spent the next day researching the issues and pricing up parts. Turns out I can fix it (I think). So I drove back the next night with my mucho protesting wife who made it abundantly plain that she wanted nothing to do with the damn thing. The kids came too.

I drove it 130 miles home with most of the car wrapped in cling film and scotch tape. Looked like I was driving a giant bag of potato chips. Drove wonderful on the way home apart from a gentle pull off to the left and I managed 69mpg too.

So I now own a fucking Volvo... :fu:

30878
 

CZLoco

artist formerly known as quad destroyer and...
Joined
Dec 13, 2001
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Austin, TX
I keep thinking it looks like a sleeper build that I've seen before.
You could swap a Coyote or LTx engine in I'm sure.
But until that day comes around, I think it's a great looking wagon that won't need much to make you happy with it.
 

CZLoco

artist formerly known as quad destroyer and...
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I like the wagon but there is no way it's getting 30+ MPG.
 

Stetson

BAMF
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Maine
Sweet. I like Volvos. I rode home from the hospital in one shortly after being born in 1971. Dad says it was the biggest piece of shit he ever owned, but he recognizes that particular one was a lemon. He hasn't owned another since, though.

My father in law has had a series of wagons, and they've treated him very well. We've had a bunch come in and out of storage at work, too. I'm always impressed how solid they feel, even after 200K miles. Congratulations.
 
OP

Mr Lucky

toboggan oiler
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None of your fucking business...
Well I'm only reporting what the mpg meter is stating. The only real way to find out is to do it the old fashioned way and measure it myself instead of believing the onboard...
 
OP

Mr Lucky

toboggan oiler
Joined
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None of your fucking business...
And yeah, the 2.4 turbo diesels in the D5 are known to be robust and economical and do achieve between 45-55mpig average driving depending on how heavy your right foot is. Obviously mpag will be slightly less as the US gallon is a smaller unit.

So suck it up, buttercup...
 

fr0st

The Arvida Chancellor
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Those are metric MPG, so it's like really getting about 12 MPG. But it's really scoring high on the DPM (Douchieness Per Mile).

S.C.

They call 'em metric gallons i wreckon..

4.5 liters vs 3.78 liters..
 

DUCHUNTER

"I am Jacks _______"
Joined
Feb 4, 2002
Messages
7,172
I've actually heard that the car is a smart buy..... if you're into that sort of thing....
 

whipit1K

BAMF
Joined
Jan 2, 2002
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6,108
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NC
No they are imperial measurements. But even if they weren't I wouldn't complain considering I only paid the equivalent 130 of your Yankee dollars for the car...
what a savvy businessperson the seller was. why didnt he just give it away? dumbass.

any semi modern vehicle should go 300K miles with no problem if given basic care- oil changes timing belts etc
 
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Mr Lucky

toboggan oiler
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None of your fucking business...
So big I could sleep lying down in the back.

Anyway, today I changed the power steering pump. Apparently the wrong fluid was in it (red) and it fucked a seal on the pulley shaft. Power steering fluid was coming out and running down onto the auxiliary belt which was then throwing the fucking stuff everywhere. Had to be sorted.

What a piece of piss to change! So far a very easy car to work on. It seems so well designed. That isn't to say I had a super-easy time because everything was filthy but there were no problems apart from the fact that the pump unfitted had a slightly smaller pulley wheel than the one that came off. The auxiliary belt must have a spring-loaded tensioner on it like the cam belt because the belt felt no slacker with the new pump fitted. I would like to say it worked but I haven't ran the car yet as I don't have the green power steering fluid. Tomorrow I'll buy it and then burp the system and check the replacement pump for leaks.
Cost of replacement pump? £30 including reservoir and hose...

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OP

Mr Lucky

toboggan oiler
Joined
Dec 29, 2001
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None of your fucking business...
Less than 3 minutes to remove the old washer bottle pump and fit the $9.00 replacement. Windscreen washer now working again. While I was down there I sorted the driver's side front foglight. Previous owner couldn't be arsed (Or more likely didn't have the fucking whit) to plug the foglight power supply back onto the back of the foglight. For crying out fucking loud!

Still, two things fixed, one very cheaply and one for free.

Yay me!
 
OP

Mr Lucky

toboggan oiler
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None of your fucking business...
So I found a tailgate on eBay with the much sought after rear spoiler, in my car's colour. Only problem was it was 270 miles away. But £35 is not to be sniffed at and any way I could drop in and see a friend who only lives 40 miles from the seller.

So I did.

And while I was staying over at my friend's place another V70 came up on Facebook. Same colour as mine and being broken, 1 mile from my friend's place. Fukken schweeeet!

£50 for a new passenger side headlight and bonnet.

While I was collecting the tailgate I also grabbed a rear quarterlight for £15. Sadly the other one was busted but hey-ho, still a pretty good haul.

So all I really need now is a stereo (cheap Chinese double din touch screen will go in when I have the cash) and a quarterlight, a windscreen and the tracking set up.

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Parts cost for this little haul is £100... :up:
 
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OP

Mr Lucky

toboggan oiler
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Dec 29, 2001
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None of your fucking business...
Fucking cock! I hate hacked up.wiring and a previous owner did this at the back end. I was hoping to 'plug and play' the replacement tailgate but tonight I go to disconnect the electrics for the old one and find this.

Nice replacement, as it should be.
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Spaghetti bastard hack job!
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Seems there are wires to a no longer operating reverse parking sensor set up, rear camera and tow bar electrics that have all been hack-fucked into the harness.

Son of a fucking bitch I hate efuckinglectrics...
 
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Joined
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Fucking cock! I hate hacked up.wiring and a previous owner did this at the back end. I was hoping to 'plug and play' the replacement tailgate but tonight I go to disconnect the electrics for the old.one and find this.

Nice replacement, as it should be.
View attachment 31453

Spaghetti bastard hack job!
View attachment 31454

View attachment 31455

View attachment 31456

Seems there are wires to a no longer operating revers parking sensor set up, rear camera and tow bar electrics that have all been hack-fucked into the harness.

Son of a fucking bitch I hate efuckinglectrics...
new harness is your only hope.

That blows...
 

Stetson

BAMF
Joined
Nov 17, 2002
Messages
9,095
Location
Maine
That is an impressive amount of fuckery. Tuck it all back in and cover it up again. :up:

The great thing about a cheap "beater" car is not everything has to work. Just accept that's why you got it cheap.

I had a Saab 9000 that a kid in town rolled over. Kid kept his aftermarket radio after the insurance company paid out. I bought it from the tow place, replaced front and rear windshields and drove it for a year and a half with no radio because I'm cheap. :smile2:
 
OP

Mr Lucky

toboggan oiler
Joined
Dec 29, 2001
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None of your fucking business...
I have to do something as it all runs into the tailgate with no connector to break and reconnect to the new tailgate. So it looks like I am removing all the shit from the old tailgate, removing all the good stuff from the new tailgate, then putting the new tailgate on and feeding all the fucking bollocks into it from the old tailgate.

Ah well. £100 car...
 
OP

Mr Lucky

toboggan oiler
Joined
Dec 29, 2001
Messages
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None of your fucking business...
A little more work done today.

I promised the kids I would source some Volvo booster seats and I came across these on FB. They were about 70 mile south of me in a car going to the scrapyard to be crushed. I got down there and hauled them out. Guy said I could have them for free but I gave him a tenner. The kids love them but now they want seatback videos. They are super-rare so the kids will just have to sit and enjoy the view, like I did when I was a kid.

Normal seats.
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Allay-up!
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Then the next bit which was a slight pain in the balls. I had sourced the tailgate many miles south and it is from an older car (pre-update 2000-2004) so there are a few things different on it, wiper wipes the opposite way and the badging is in a different place. Also, the harness has different plugs to the one coming off so I have had to gut the outgoing one of it's harness and apply it to the incumbent tailgate. Not all done yet as it is dark and cold outside but it looks a hell of a lot better than it did. I am digging the Volvo rear spoiler too.

From this.
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To this.
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I need to source one more side window (I already have one of them) and get those fitted, sort that fukken wiring in the boot (trunk), buy a cheap Chinese stereo and get the tracking done and we are happy days... :up:
 
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