Are you talking about THEE Clarence Clemons? The big man (RIP)?When I had a few drinks years ago with Clarence Clemons at the Eagle, I knew he was in CT getting divorced because he told me. Someone in the civil court system loved him, the entire case file was sealed.
It seems the sealer went on to become one of our overlords.
Yeah.Are you talking about THEE Clarence Clemons? The big man (RIP)?
Well all the attorneys will be urging their clients to accept any deal that both parties will agree to because they got their retainer and they know very very few people go to the expense of a trial. Deals on the courthouse steps are never good for the Father.Simon .. what possible deal could you want to make with that evil witch ?
thats silly talk. Its really apparent, when dating, to see the earning and spending habits. Wasnt your ex spending your loot??If you live in Calif, hookers, girl friend are cheaper in the long run than being married.
meh....A good marriage has 2 individuals that can stand on their own financially and career wise. Not even going to get into the physical side...which is a whole nuther thread
fuck, man. You’ve hit the nail on the head. What you didn’t write is a true narcissist with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) believes she is smarter than everyone, has no conscience and typically follows a “scorched earth” policy. He or she doesn’t give a flying fuck about anyone- just wants to burn everything down.Well all the attorneys will be urging their clients to accept any deal that both parties will agree to because they got their retainer and they know very very few people go to the expense of a trial. Deals on the courthouse steps are never good for the Father.
ISome men throw in the towel at the first hearing. Some after the first false DVRO. Some fight for two years trying to play the game of paying her, the attorney, the experts, the living expenses and parenting costs before crumbling and accepting anything put in front of them. Some talk fight fight fight and then agree to drop all contempt charges for a clean slate and try again.
The reality is, sociopaths are narcissists. Understanding that they dont care what damage they do their own children, your children, in their selfish spiteful quests is key to making a decision about how and if to settle. If being a parent and not a visitor in your own kids lives is important, then you are in for a fight because she is never going to agree to that. If you just want peace and dont mind 2 weekends a month, then settle as fast as you can and take anything you can get.
It really depends how old the children are and how well bonded they are with you. If you have kids under 5yo, especially under 3yo, then seeing them as much as possible is critical. These are the years where the bonds are formed and they cannot be redone later.
Keep in mind that attorneys all have one eye on your income and bank balance. There is no better method from separating good people from their money than keeping their children from them. It is no accident that bar associations across the country routinely oppose any attempt to change the laws so that Fathers get shared physical custody out of the gate.
So forget the money. Its gone one way or another anyway.
Sounds like you married Donald Trump.fuck, man. You’ve hit the nail on the head. What you didn’t write is a true narcissist with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) believes she is smarter than everyone, has no conscience and typically follows a “scorched earth” policy. He or she doesn’t give a flying fuck about anyone- just wants to burn everything down.
So much for not talking about this. Hope she isn't downloading all your social media.
Well thats not surprising.. You might pay your attorney, but they dont work for you. They work for the system that operate in every day. That community is sewn together very tightly. Everyone knows everyone. They only thing they all agree on is that their job is hold parents upside down by their ankles and shake until not more coins fall to the ground. Then, as if by magic, both parties attorneys are suddenly telling you that all that fighting they recommended, that you paid for is pointless and your best bet is to settle.Because my first attorney decided to withhold evidence and testimony. Why, I’ll never know. I think she was paid off by the opposing counsel. The evidence was so damning, my wife should have been investigated for crimes and lost immediate custody of her kids. Imagine going to court armed with the truth that will save your kids and have it go completely opposite.
Knowing that pretty much all divorces cost the guy a shit ton of money, no matter how much fighting takes place with attorneys, I just decided that I'd toss a big pile of cash at her right up front, along with letting her keeping everything in the house (including my dog), and me buying back my Vette and motorcycles. It came down to her bitching that she wanted $10,000 more. I asked her, in front of her attorney, if she wanted to spend $20,000 to get that $10,000. Even her attorney looked at her and nodded that I was right.A friend went through a messy divorce, she cleaned him out, all he had left was his old boat.
I asked him about the situation, mentioning the huge expense.
He asked me if I knew why divorce was so expensive.
No, I dont know.
Because it's worth it.
Isnt youth just wasted on the ignorant?? Lets call it late 30s for the gals to be on the safe side of delivering kids. Ok lets just call it 39... so even if the gal were super stellar and graduated at 21 got a masters by 23 thats not a whole lotta time to marinate in a career and make it to a partner level or so. We are not even talking about someone of limited means that would be borrowing loot to go to school. Guys dont have that biological pressure. My friends that did the professional thing enjoy not having kids and doing what ever they please.Read an interesting story once on women who chose a career first, and planned on meeting a career man and together, later in life, they would settle down as 2 professionals and raise kids. ( if DINKS are no kids, what are 2 kids?)
Anyway, turns out the women interviewed had a lot of trouble finding a professional man well into his career who wanted a woman of matching age well into her career. They found that many career minded men who did want kids wanted a pretty young thing who could stay at home. They didn't want to be with a copy of themselves.
Sad place to find yourself i suppose.