How's my brother doing?

[ysr_racer]

There's an old Yiddish saying that roughly translated into English says: Nobody lays on their deathbed and says, gee I wish I spent more time in the office.

 

[Master-Cylinder]

I have to admit, this made me chuckle. I needed that.

Thanks again for the thoughts, prayers, and stories. I spent the afternoon at the funeral home making arrangements. I am drained.

Got the autopsy report. Official cause of death was pulmonary embolism with a side order of congestive heart failure. CHF runs in the family from both sides. Wheeee!

This is the exact reason I started travelling a few years ago. Between travelling and racing I at least get out and see the world.

I'm fairly certain my brother hadn't taken a vacation in 40 years. We can always make more money, we can never make more time.

I lived WFO from the tyme I was 18 until 45. Traveled all over the country every summer. Been to England, Hong Kong, Macau, China, Mexico, Canada, Nicaragua, and a few other places. I wanted to do everything I could while I was young enough to do it, and, in case I didn't live long enough to retire.
Never understood why people waited until they were ancient to live life and do stuff.

 

[Stuman]

Very sorry for your loss, but glad you were able to get on good terms with your brother before he passed.

 

[Vicious_Cycle]

Well that blows... sorry you lost your brother.

 

[Terry_Schiavo]

There's an old Yiddish saying that roughly translated into English says: Nobody lays on their deathbed and says, gee I wish I spent more time in the office.

you cant abridge the Yid saying...

also says to hire goym, schvartzas, and micks to do Jooo dirty werk

 

[BusaVeloce]

Glad You and Your Brother made amends...

condolences to all involved.

 

[Hugh G. Rection]

Soooo, this has turned out to be quite a mess. I went to brother's house Saturday to get the perishable food out of the house and clean out the refrigerator. I was also determined to find his will. I searched through every paper in his office, and after opening 50 or so envelopes from his divorce, I found an invoice from his attorney for a will, but no will to be found.

Our Mom had a lockbox that she kept in the bedroom closet so I figured maybe he used it. I open the closet door and there laying on a shelf was a manila envelope marked Will and Power of Attorney. I open it up and there are 2 POA's, and I'm not on either one. I open up the will and there are 3 co-executors named, and I'm not one of them either. I'm not overly surprised, but I know one of them so I call her and give her the good news. She is happy I found the will, but less than thrilled that she is an executor. She also says that one of the others named is terminally ill now. Neither of us know who the 3rd one is.

I figured my first move is to call the attorney listed and let her know the will and such have been found, and the situation with the executors. In the meantime the funeral home calls, and since I am not POA or executor, they can't proceed with the cremation.

His kid is listed as sole heir, but so far we have not been able to locate him either. Last known whereabouts was Houston. The coroner has talked to his mother and stepdad, but neither of them claim to have seen him in almost a year.

Wheeee!

 

[Wretch]

Executrix is the proper term for female executor but, apparently either is acceptable anymore.

She might feel better about the job if you use the former and it is a pretty cool sounding word.

All the other stuff, I feel for you.
None of it qualifies as fun in any sense of the word.

Here's to getting sorted what you are responsible for and having some peace of mind left when all is said and done.

 

[GSX]

Sorry for your loss. At least you were able to mend the relationship before he left.

 

[Master-Cylinder]

Our wills are in my safe, too bad I'm the only one who knows it. When I croak, they're gonna have to work for it. It will be worth their while. It goes to the wife first, if I manage to take her with me, then it goes to her kids.

Any toilet paper or paper towels left in your brothers house?

 

[Hugh G. Rection]

Spent a bunch of time on the phone with the funeral home and lawyer this morning. FH won't proceed with the cremation because I am not executor or POA.

Talked to the lawyer. She will start proceedings to get me the executorship. I called the husband of the sick lady and she's in hospice, and the other one listed is her sister, and she declined too. The lawyer also pointed out that even though POA ended at my brother's passing, there is a clause that directs disposition of the body.

Toilet paper and paper towels were removed from the house Saturday.

 

[Austin_F]

so why can't the funeral home proceed if its a clause on the document?

 

[Hugh G. Rection]

The lady with poa had to contact the funeral home. We're good, spent 2 hours at the lawyers today getting everything going. Dropped off a copy of the poa at the funeral home and picked up his personal effects.

I'm done until next week when I meet the lawyer again to sign the papers making me executor. Then it's basically wait to see if Junior shows up or not. If he does I'm out of it completely. Did find out the fucktard has a warrant out for him in Texas, and maybe one here.

 

[Zippy]

...so if he shows up he's nailed...???...what's in it for him...???...I can't imagine he would show up now...it sounds like he is on the lam...

 

[GSXRTURBO1]

...so if he shows up he's nailed...???...what's in it for him...???...I can't imagine he would show up now...it sounds like he is on the lam...

don't underestimate the lure of a few $$$

 

[Hugh G. Rection]

For a 19 y/o dope fiend he stands to inherit a good sum of money. His Dad prepared well for retirement, except for the getting there part. There is also a nice house in a small town ready for him to move in to.

I got into brother's phone and found 3 numbers for the kid. I sent texts to all 3, we'll see what happens.

 

[Master-Cylinder]

The kid will most likely lose it all in a year. Two tops.

 

[Zippy]

...his deadbeat doper pals will move in on him...

 

[Hugh G. Rection]

I am sure. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do about it since he is sole heir.

 

[Terry_Schiavo]

Uncle Hugh...stop hitting me!!!

 

[Zippy]

I am sure. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do about it since he is sole heir.

...what if he dies...???... (grin)

 

[Hugh G. Rection]

Unfortunately, if he dies or we can't find him, everything goes to the State of Illinois.

 

[Zippy]

...how long does the kid get to show up...???...I bet the state is champing at the bit...

...I would have thought the estate would default to the next closest family member in absence of other instructions, not the fukin state...

...

 

[Master-Cylinder]

...how long does the kid get to show up...???...I bet the state is champing at the bit...

...I would have thought the estate would default to the next closest family member in absence of other instructions, not the fukin sate...

...

Champing.

 

[NORTY]

As this thread has displayed, the two most "lethal" years, are the year you were born, and the year you retire.

Also, to any of you that do have a pot to piss in, get a friggen TRUST. (And a will.)

 

[Hugh G. Rection]

IF he has not been found in 6 months I am supposed to sell the house and it all goes to the estate.

IF he has not shown up in 7 years it all goes to the state.

If it goes to the state I am sure I will be allowed to claim it AFTER I spend a ton of money in court fighting them.

And yes, I am making an appointment with the lawyer to do my will soon. My ex and I have planned to take care of each others remains, but now I know with nothing in writing we can't legally do that.

 

[Zippy]

...that all sounds logical except the part where you fight the state...

 

[Hugh G. Rection]

Got a message from him last night, as did my brother's friend Lisa. I answered him this morning, haven't heard back yet. He asked me what's up with his Dad. He told her he already knew about Dale and was thinking of offing himself.

Great googly moogly.

 

[tinhead]

A hell of a way to expand your circle of acquaintances and find a nephew.
It seems a faint chance, you could let new nephew know that what's up is he has a pile of cash waiting for him. There's no law I know of that says people with warrants are cut out of inheritances. He might figure take his lumps and see if there's anything left when it's over.

 

[Wretch]

Sounds like the state will end up with the monies, one way or the other.

 

[tinhead]

If you were in CT, a bunch of executor paperwork can be avoided by signing the house over to new nephew. Selling it to make an all cash estate triggers the executors fiduciary duty. I don't know the differences between here and where you are, but that can be a trap.

 

[Hugh G. Rection]

Heard back from the kid this morning. Trying to get a phone number out of him, then I will turn it all over to the lawyer. He gave me the same sob story about being on the street as he did his Dad in January.

The neighbor lady next door is not thrilled about the prospect of Junior coming back. She already has the cops on speed dial, and I don't blame her. She's around 80 and has had him busted before.

 

[Zippy]

Sorry about your brother. This happened to a very close coworker who was 1 WEEK away from retirement. We went on a lot of trips together and were friends he even had in his office a big chart that had every day "x'ed" off leading up to the big day. Went in to see him on the Monday of his last week and there was a note on the wall on the entrance to his office that he had passed away (cause same as your brother) he was 64 and his birthday was the next day. They had bought a house in Florida were his kids and grandkids were, going to move that Saturday had even sold and closed on the house they had here!

I was devastated, knew his wife as well. Had to go out and drive around for a hour to compose myself before coming back. Still think about Jack almost 10 years later. Never take life for granted because just when you think you have your ducks all lined up Boom they are gone..

...they might leave you behind...

 

[Hugh G. Rection]

Little update. Junior finally came up in August. I tried helping him along, and he seemed to be doing ok. We had an appointment with the lawyer in September and got the estate going. I took him with me to the dragstrip one day and that's when things went south.

When I picked him up he had a really odd smell about him. I suspected he was back on meth. We picked my car up and dropped it off at my shop. I was really conflicted about showing him my place, but I did.

Since that day I have not heard from him. My shop got broken into around Thanksgiving, and from the list of things gone I'm 99% sure it was him. I filed a police report, but they didn't really seem to give a shit. Unfortunately for me, the stuff stolen didn't cover the deductible on my insurance.

Also in September I sat down with him and filled out the paperwork for him to get his Dad's pension. All he had to do was decide if he wanted a check every month or direct deposit, put a stamp on it, and mail it. Got a call from the lawyer Wednesday, pension company hasn't received the paperwork yet.

3 more months and we can distribute the estate. Hopefully the little fuck is still alive to sign off so I can be done with his dumb ass.

 

[BigGar]

Well faaaaaaack... That sure sucks.

 

[Master-Cylinder]

No good deed, goes unpunished.

 

[ysr_racer]

POA ends when the person giving it dies.

 

[Hugh G. Rection]

POA ends when the person giving it dies.

I'm the executor. We're already done with PoA.

 

[ysr_racer]

I'm the executor. We're already done with PoA.

As I said, a POA is useless after the person is dead. It's a common mistake.

 

[Hugh G. Rection]

Actually, PoA ended when his assigned agent gave the funeral home instructions for disposition of the body. Other than that 1 thing, all else was null and void.

 

[quiver]

I'm so sorry that you lost your brother.
I'm sorry that his son is lost to meth.
I had a neighbor that I met once at the mail boxes at the end of my road. he had that odd odor.
i saw on the news, that he went to jail for manufacturing, selling and caught moving 10+ pounds of meth in a routine traffic stop.

please, change your locks or upgrade your security for your own sake.

 

[Ninjaman12R]

My condolences, very sorry to hear about your brother. Lots of great words of advice, and support coming from the guys here. Reading your post hit home for sure, my heart goes out to you and your family. May your brother rest in peace.

 

[agri]

Just following your story Hugh makes me sad on just how fucked up families can get.
I got a call last week from Sunnybrook hospital. My estranged father who is 84 past out driving and was in the hospital. I have not seen him in 8 years.
No one wanted to pick him up, unbelievably he gave the hospital my number.
Yesterday I sucked it up and picked him up and brought him to his apartment. Made sure he had food, bought him some newspapers and spoke with the neighbours to let them know his condition.
I swore I'd never give him the time of day, but I could not be a cunt and for my own soul I had to help.
All very emotional and I am sure I will never hear from him again.
at least they pulled his license, he is lucky he did not kill an innocent person.

 

[Wretch]

Just following your story Hugh makes me sad on just how fucked up families can get.
I got a call last week from Sunnybrook hospital. My estranged father who is 84 past out driving and was in the hospital. I have not seen him in 8 years.
No one wanted to pick him up, unbelievably he gave the hospital my number.
Yesterday I sucked it up and picked him up and brought him to his apartment. Made sure he had food, bought him some newspapers and spoke with the neighbours to let them know his condition.
I swore I'd never give him the time of day, but I could not be a cunt and for my own soul I had to help.
All very emotional and I am sure I will never hear from him again.
at least they pulled his license, he is lucky he did not kill an innocent person.

Careful! you have some character showing there.

Good on you for doing right, in spite of past issues.

 

[Master-Cylinder]

My father married a woman who is probably 15 years younger than him. She can take care of him, if he's still alive.
She was hot back in the day, I should have made a stepmother porn with her.

 

[Rhino]

Sorry to hear about your brother. Hugs man never easy to lose family no matter how close or distant.

 

[Ninjaman12R]

Sorry to hear about your brother. Hugs man never easy to lose family no matter how close or distant.

More wisdom, shining through.....

 

[fuzzuki]

Was on my way home tonight and had a call from a number I did not recognize. I thought it might be from work so I answered it. It was the Iroquois County coroner informing me that my brother passed away this afternoon on the way to the hospital. Last time I talked to him we were talking about looking forward to retirement. He was 64 and retiring at 65. He and I spoke about once a month. For us that was real good. Before Dad passed 10 years ago we hadn't spoken to each other for 35 years.

Funny, 3 hours ago the biggest thing I was worrying about was if I was going to get released to go back to work Friday. My how things can change.

Unlike Ro$$, my brother was a hard working motherfucker. The Grim Reaper got him way too early.

Wow, first let me say sorry for you loss, I hope you'll be ok.

When I was reading this I thought my best friend had a brother I didn't know about.

exact thing happened Friday to my friend.
He had his business sold, was moving equipment for the new owner, on his way home, he died on the road, heart attack.
He too was about retired, selling his house for a small condo and wanted to travel the world.

too sad, and too soon.

 

[Hugh G. Rection]

Well, I got the call today I figured would come sooner or later. Junior is in the can again. Got busted driving a car with expired plates, no insurance, no do, and weed laced with meth. One of his friends called me, wanted to know if I would bail him out. Talking to the lawyer in the morning to see if I can legally use estate money to get him out. Not spending another dime of my own on this worthless piece of fuck.

Was also told he has trashed the house already. Had his doper buddies living there along with 3 pitbulls that were never housebroken. Honestly? I am more concerned about the pups than him. They can't help themselves, he could have.

Kinda bitter right at the moment. Kids already blasted through $100K in cash. Did I mention fuck him?

 

[Master-Cylinder]

If you bail him out and he doesn't show, are you on the hook?