Heaven has a wall, a gate, and a strict immigration policy...

   #3  

gobrian77

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That's ridiculous- I've read 'The Divine Comedy', and Hell not only has a gate, but also has a very strict vetting process- according to Dante, all souls are interviewed and judged before gaining access.
 
   #5  

gobrian77

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If you're a Catholic, all you have to do to gain entrance to Heaven is show repentance for all sins on your deathbed- 'I'm really, really sorry I did all that jaywalking, pulled the tags off all those mattresses, and sodomized all those Cub Scouts'- and you're in.
 
   #7  

gobrian77

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They brought back the 'sale of indulgences'? Cool. I've been away for a long time in a predominantly Buddhist country and have missed a lot of stuff.
 
   #8  

Wretch

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I think some have the wrong idea of what true Hell would be...

...it's not lakes of sulfur, burning brimstone walls, pitchforks and demons.


It's to be without Love, alone, in the dark for eternity...

...with much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

I haven't seen Heaven yet but hope to find it a place where we will be all together as one.
All known, nothing to hide, fear or lament.
To just be, if so blessed.
Surrounded by Love.
 
   #10  

Drakhen

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If you're a Catholic, all you have to do to gain entrance to Heaven is show repentance for all sins on your deathbed- 'I'm really, really sorry I did all that jaywalking, pulled the tags off all those mattresses, and sodomized all those Cub Scouts'- and you're in.
I was raised Catholic (I got over it) and this isn't exactly accurate. You're actually supposed to be honestly repentant for those sins. If you keep going to confession and it's still "yeah, I cheated on my wife with the neighbor again" three or four times in a row, a lot of priests are gonna stop offering you penance.
 
   #12  

gobrian77

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I was raised Catholic (I got over it) and this isn't exactly accurate. You're actually supposed to be honestly repentant for those sins. If you keep going to confession and it's still "yeah, I cheated on my wife with the neighbor again" three or four times in a row, a lot of priests are gonna stop offering you penance.
So was I- once you perform your 'act of contrition' and receive absolution, you're supposed to be all good (I was never the best Catholic, so you are probably right about needingto show honest and sincere repentance- so, if someone is truly sorry they banged all those cub scouts, they'd get to go to heaven- not a bad deal). Still, bringing back the 'sake of indulgences' after a ~500-hiatus would a real money-maker.

I was always more interested in who couldn't get in- a contrite kiddy-diddler is welcome, but an unbaptized non-believer who lived a moral, selfless life isn't...
 
   #15  

BigHock

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The whole idea of doing ‘evil’ (for lack of better word), and then being able to cast off your culpability by repenting, seems a bit wicked at its core. Scapegoating? Isn’t that bad?

Hey, do whatever you want and then at the end, I’ll be there to take responsibility for YOUR shit, so you can enjoy a forever vacation in paradise.

Brian, was this your brochure slogan while on Koh Samui? Repent or reservation, either way welcome to paradise! :ducmanic::drinks::biggar::turboblew:
 
   #17  

gobrian77

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Most of the stuff we did on Koh Samui wouldn't have looked that good on Heaven's admission application.:wink2:

If the world ended tomorrow, according to church doctrines, my wife and kid would be denied entrance to Heaven no matter how they lived their lives- I, on the other hand, would have a shot if I expressed true repentance for whatever sins I've committed before the final cataclysm... No thanks- see ya, Catholicism- I'm gonna stick with my family and take my chances.
 
   #19  

gobrian77

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In the bible there is no hell...
Sure there is- there are many references to it:

Revelation 21:8

But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”
 
   #20  

BigHock

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South Park did a ridicule on this subject. Timmy the crippled kid who can only say “Timmy” couldn’t ask for forgiveness, so he is doomed. How does that work? Children who are too young, or handicapped? You think they would have made provisions for such things.

Anywho, I’ll just keep racking up the Satan frequent flyer miles, and hopefully be able to use them on my final flight. Maybe get an upgrade to business class. I hear the layovers in purgatory can take some time.
 
   #21  

gobrian77

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Unbaptized children end up in Limbo, which is actually the first circle of Hell (again, this is from 'The Divine Comedy')- it's for those who've lived a basically virtuous life, but haven't accepted Christ. It's the second circle of Hell where the fun actually starts...
 
   #26  

Snail

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I can post more pics of where you're going, and who'll you'll meet when you get there.

Some of the pictures remind me of labusa gatherings.

Maybe Eddie could use one for the shirt.
 
   #27  

Master-Cylinder

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I can post more pics of where you're going, and who'll you'll meet when you get there.

Some of the pictures remind me of labusa gatherings.

Maybe Eddie could use one for the shirt.
Look at you, posting pics like a pro!:up:
 
   #28  

gobrian77

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If you don't want to slog through Dante's stuff, I highly recommend 'Inferno' by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle- it's a very entertaining novel based on source material of 'The Divine Comedy' set in the modern world- I read it when I was a kid, and it prompted me to read the original story it was based upon later:

Inferno (Niven and Pournelle novel) - Wikipedia
 
   #29  

Brokenfly

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"A Protestant has seldom any mercy shown him, and a Jew, who turns Christian, is far from being secure."
 
   #30  

Hapo

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...look, it's pretty simple...God is like Santa Claus...He Knows when you've been naughty and He Knows when you've been nice n' shit...
 
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